Forgiveness is NOT Forgetting!

The Bible Says “Forgive and Forget”…. Right?

Forgiveness is not. . . .

1. Pretending nothing happened or nothing is wrong.

  • Pretending isn’t forgiving because forgiving is ALWAYS based on truth.

2. Forgiveness is not . . . .

  • A never-ending series of _second chances_.
  • Forgiveness involves releasing any resentment, judgement that condemns or vengeance. 
  • Second chances implies giving someone another opportunity to CHANGE their behavior- not an opportunity to HURT you.
  • Forgiveness is NOT tolerating repeated offenses .

Isn’t God the God of second chances?

++Shouldn’t we try also?

Unlimited reboots- another chance to get it right??

Here are my thoughts (I know! Another spoiler alert).

Sinners don’t need second chances- we need a perfect substitute. We don’t earn redemption through a series of fresh starts.

We need grace and mercy that are cross-bought gifts.

Forgiveness is not. . . .

  • Removal of consequences and baggage.
  • Immediate and full restoration with complete trust.
  • Forgetting.

What is forgiveness. . . .

God no longer responds to us in light of our sins, no longer holds them against us and no longer allows our forgiven sins to interfere with our relationship.

Why does this “forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting” really matter? 

  • If we try to handle forgiveness by fighting and struggling to forget, we will ultimately _fail_.
  • Forgetting may feel good at first, but will usually just be a temporary band-aid, a cover-up, but eventually the _decay_ will return.
  • Trying to forget hurts, sins or abusive actions will frustrate you. 

What does forgiveness mean for us today?

1. Forgiveness is more about freedom than fairness.

Life is not fair!!!

      – Matthew 18:35 

2. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same.

Forgiveness is between you and God.

Why?

1). Command

++2). Vital to your spiritual connection.

  • Reconciliation is between you and another person.

      – Romans 12:18 

3. Forgiveness is a _process_ not always a one-time event.

      – Matthew 18:21 – 22 

  • It’s okay to take time to grieve and heal.
  • Forgiveness is the last step of the grieving process.
  • Because forgiveness is a process, we have the time and opportunity to cultivate a heart position of grace and mercy.
  • True forgiveness is the healing process that starts you and then gradually extends to others.

4. God’s grace empowers you to forgive.

      – Ephesians 4:7 

      – 2 Corinthians 12:9 

5. Healing does not depend on the offender’s repentance.

  • Your healing does not depend on anyone else’s choices but only on your _own_.

You can’t control what other’s do, but can control how you _respond_.

Forgiveness without repentance is not biblical.

      – Ephesians 4:32 

      – Acts 2:38 

Forgiveness without repentance creates a mora vacuum.

  • No accountability or sense of consequence.
  • Pride and entitlement.
  • Therapeutic amnesia.

Here’s my thoughts. . . . .

  • Wounds, offenses, wrongful and hurtful actions towards us create a moral debt.
  • Forgiveness means to release an offender by paying his moral debt.
  • Only when an offender repents is he pardoned. 

We are not generators of forgiveness. We are just distributors of Jesus’ hard earned blood money to those who need it the most.